Just Bad

$phrase[0] = “You so ugly…”;
$phrase[1] = “Your mama so fat…”;
$phrase[2] = “You so dumb…”;

What is it?

A disarray!

Sorry, bad programmer pun. Couldn’t help it.

Eddie Izzard

Went to see Eddie Izzard at the Orpheum in Boston last night.

We wanted to grab some food before hand, I didn’t expect it would be so hard to find in Boston. Most of the places were either boarded up or completely packed with people. We finally picked (and by “picked”, I mean “settled on out of desperation”) a generic place called the Hub Pub, which had decent but unremarkable food, but at least was relatively empty and quiet upstairs.

After food, we walked over to the Orpheum. It’s old, and not really in a good way. The paint is peeling, the sound system is not great, and the seats have zero legroom. Our seats were not very good, either – I spent the whole show on the edge of my seat, leaning forward and to one side to peer at Izzard between the heads of the people in front of me.

The show, however, was fantastic. The combination of not-stellar audio and Eddie Izzard’s delivery occasionally made me miss a line or two, but it was a great show nonetheless. He has a rambling, stream of consciousness style to his show, branching off into asides and then eventually jumping back to the main thread. Kinda like a funnier, British version of Robin Williams. But where Robin Williams sometimes seems out of control, Eddie Izzard’s mannerisms and delivery give him the feel of a very funny guy who is slightly drunk or slightly high, trying to tell you something at a party. My face hurt a little from all the laughing.

This morning, I made this quick sketch based on one of his jokes during the show. He has a complicated lead-up to a bad pun, and when the audience groans, he’s like “fuck off – you people are saying to yourselves, ‘oh: God, Creme-Brullee, Badgers – I’ve heard *that* one a thousand times!'” Brilliant stuff.

Perhaps tonight when I get home, I’ll make a proper version of the design, and put it on VistaPrint or CafePress as actual merchandise.

Great Satirists

Some great satirists I’ve been reading lately, who seem to share some mental kinship – perhaps only the kinship of shared genre, but it feels like something more:

Mark Twain
Kurt Vonnegut
Hunter S. Thompson
Tom Robbins

They all possess a great love of language, a dualistic dark but somehow optimistic view of humanity, disgust at bureaucracy and organized religion…

Seems like they are the kind of people that it would be great to go out for a drink with, to sit at a table in a dingy bar, toasting doomsday and discussing humanity.


Finally got around to finishing Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates. Great stuff.

I’m following it up by reading What is Man by Mark Twain. Also great stuff, philosophy in the style (and at the level) of the classic Greeks.

The best humorists are also philosophers.
Or maybe it’s the other way ’round.

Missed Comedy

There was a perfect opportunity for comedy, if only a few more names had fallen into place.

The President of China, Hu Jintao, gave a speech.
Think about it…

Reporter 1: So who is speaking now?
Reporter 2: That’s right.
Reporter 1: No, I asked you who’s giving the speech?
Reporter 2: Ya.
Reporter 1: So Ya is speaking now?
Reporter 2: No, Hu is speaking now, Ya is up later.

and so on…

Marketing Classic Books

So I had an idea that I thought I’d sketch out last night…

What if overzealous marketers wanted to promote classic books, but had never read them, and didn’t want to take the time to?

So here are some cover designs and taglines, based only on the book title.
They’re really rough, but convey the basic idea…

You can also see higher-res versions on Flickr.

“They were separated by age, but brought together by love. The tale of the forbidden passion that shocked a nation! – 19 / 84 – George Orwell”

“The life of a porn star is a hard one. – Moby Dick – A ribald romp by Herman Melville”

“Their mission: colonize Mercury. But they were not alone… – Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury”

“The FBI’s top agent has only 3 days to stop 22 criminal masterminds! – Catch-22 – Joseph Heller”

“Revenge is a drink best served with poison. – The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck”

“When you want to get away from… your life. – Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe, the master of horror”

“He can see you, but you can’t see him. – The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger”

The Jungle – A handy guide to visiting the Amazon. With full-color photos! – Upton Sinclair”

“An Oprah Book Club Selection! – Oliver Twist – He’ll dance his way to the top, and into your heart. – Charles Dickens”

The Time Machine – An illustrated history of the wristwatch. – H.G. Wells”

“All he ever wanted was to play football. – The Hunchback of Notre Dame – Victor Hugo”